Other Bellydance Stuff I Hate

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Just so you don’t think I’m picking on Zills…

Here’s another list of my hates. I know a lot of other people feel the same way.

 

The 10+ minute long show solo.

Oh yea. I went there.

Fine in a restaurant, but on stage it tends to drag. Did you know the average attention span of someone in a captive audience is roughly 3min or less? Also, that 10 minutes could have fit 2 or 3 people into the time slot giving others a chance to perform.

Now, there are some exceptions to the rule…but you’d better be show stopping AMAZING. We’re talking Indigo or Unmata fabulous here.

There are other venues where this is the norm, like the larger dance fests or if you are the guest/spotlight performer/teacher, then go for it. You’re local shows/haflas? not so much.

 

No pants under gypsy skirts.

MY BIGGEST HATE. Even more than ZIlls. I hate when dancers don’t wear pants under their damn gypsy skirts. It’s a well known HIGHLY DOCUMENTED fact that when you spin in a circle skirt, the skirt lifts up and flows around you. Guess what ladies! That means the audience is going to see what’s under your skirt. If you’re on a stage it’s even worse, they’re going to see your underwear…or ass and vajango…depending on how much you were or weren’t thinking when you put your costume on.

PLEASE wear pants? Please? Show the audience some pretty fabric harem pants under there, or some sassy flares. The extra layer of fabric as dept and color to your costume. DO IT.

And if you’re thinking “Oh, but our skirts don’t come up that much…we’re fine.” NO YOU ARE NOT. Do you KNOW what we can see as an audience sitting on a floor? Or even worse, if you’re on a stage you’re elevated, which means if your skirt even lifts to your calves, we can see your ass. COVER IT UP.

 

No underwear under cabaret costumes.

Under any costumes really, but I’m talking here about the slit-skirts.

I understand it must be hard to find something to wear under a skirt hat is slit to your thigh, but seriously? They make costuming breifs for this reason. INVEST IN A PAIR. Nothing makes an audience member gasp faster than when a cab dancer spins and we see her bush. It’s tasteless and helps propagate the negative image people have on us.

This sort of thing…right here…is what gives people the idea that we’re trashy and easy.

I pick on the cab dancers because they’re the highest offenders of the no panties issue that I’ve seen. Tribal girls aren’t completely guilt free here, but the costume mechanics are very different and bottoms are usually covered up. I’ve even seen a gypsy dancer with no panties on…but I clump that one into the pants section above.

 

Broken beads on the stage.

If your costume goes fubar on stage, and you end up dropping beads/crystals/coins/shells on the stage ALERT SOMEONE RUNNING THE SHOW THE MINUTE YOU GET OFF STAGE.

Often times someone can run across the stage with a broom and clean up your mess. It takes about a minute. I promise no one is going to get angry, and other dancers will thank you.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve danced on broken little beads. It hurts. A LOT. And it’s dangerous. Other dancers can slip or cut themselves.

 

Props left on stage.

You are not the queen of the world, and you should not expect someone to retrieve your props for you. This is not the responsibility of the people performing after you, nor should they come out on a stage and wonder what they should do with your fan/veil/cups/zills/chair/cover up/sword/anything you danced with.

Either choreo it so you remove it with yourself, or have a “stage ninja” who comes out after you and removes the prop for you after you’ve exited.

 

Divas* who feel entitled for XYZ reason.

I don’t care who you are, you don’t deserve special treatment. Sometimes it’s alright to ask for an accommodation. Like if you have a food allergy, it’s alright to ask if there’s gluten in something at a hafla. Or if you’re a breast feeding mother, it’s alright to ask if there’s a private place you can go to pump/nurse. It’s also alright to kindly request the show line up if you’re dancing more than once.

It’s not alright to demand two solo spots in a show, more show tickets, a private changing room, a special intro, special seating, classes be rearranged, the show to be rearrange, etc. etc. etc.

Please show some respect to people putting on the show.

*not limited to women. not limited to dancers.

 

People who rip vendors off.

Seriously. Just don’t do it.

The fastest way to bring yourself down and destroy your dance career is to not pay someone for something, being it bouncing a check or screwing over someone who gave you something in good faith that you’d pay.

Everyone is going to hear about it sooner or later, and you don’t want that branding.

 

Fire dancers who don’t follow safety regulations.

This is everything from letting people smoke around open fuel to not being aware of your personal space when dancing.

The simple fact is, you’re playing with something that can not only harm you, but KILL you. Look at the bigger picture around you as well. You’ve an audience. You could harm or kill them too.

Wick off, cover cans up, pull your hair up, be aware of the audience and other dancers, have a safety, and for the love of Gods make sure there’s some form of crowd control.

 

Sky High Musicians

I know many an instance where the band might have been a wee bit not grounded. This happens all too often in drum circles. Musicians can be hard to deal with on their own, let alone when they’re high or otherwise intoxicated.

 

MC’s who don’t even try

I know some of our names are impossible to pronounce…but at least try.

I’ve gotten into the habit of writing my name down phonetically for shows, and it’s saved me about 70% of being annoyed and having to correct people later. I suggest trying it next time you’re in a show, it really works and I’ve been thanked a few times by MCs and band members for it.

But sometimes…there’s that one MC that someone had to bribe and beg to be the MC, and they just don’t care. They seriously annoy me.

 

DJs who don’t listen to instructions

Nothing like a DJ who can’t follow instructions on when to start and stop music, or when and how to announce a performer.

Even better are the DJs who work and announce at strip clubs that get part time gigs elsewhere. THAT was a fun show. Every act sounded like a stripper. Fantastic.

 

Awkward Prop Solos

When people perform with out having used a prop enough in practice and it’s constantly dropped or tangled. Just because your sword arrived in the mail the day before the show DOES NOT MEAN it needs to be danced with tomorrow.

 

So there I go…pissing off the world again.

I know I’m very much NOT alone in these peeves. I’ve had many dancers voice their annoyance or horrified-ness about the above offends.

 

 

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One response »

  1. “I’ve gotten into the habit of writing my name down phonetically for shows” YESYESYES from an occasional announcer

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