Tag Archives: keto

Why Keto Sucks


So, in contrast to my last blog about why the Keto way of life is amazing…I’m going to present the down side to Keto. I try and be realistic in life after all, and with all pros come cons. Some of these are funny, serious, annoying, and could be a little TMI for some people…so you’ve been warned.

The first and probably most horrific thing about the Keto way of eating is the dreaded “Keto Flu”. It’s very much real, and it very much sucks. I was so sick when I started keto, I honestly can’t tell you if I suffered from it myself, or if I was just in my “normal” state of unhealthy suck. This “flu” is the result of your body detoxing from sugar and carbs. As your body moves into the fat burning stage of Ketosis, you feel like death. For some people it’s much more serious than others, but most experts suggest keeping activity levels low during the first two weeks of induction, because you just won’t have the energy. Most everyone agrees this is the worst part of Keto, but once you’re past this stage, you feel like a light goes off inside you, and you’ve more energy than you’ve ever had.

Body Smells…oh gosh…I don’t know if it’s because my sense of smell and taste have heightened more than their already natural high levels…but oh Gods, I’ve become hyper aware of my body scents. You pee starts to stink from the ketones being burned, and you start to panic, thinking you’re turning into that smelly person in the office bathroom. Being a lady, when your pee smells, your lady parts smell too, so of course you become paranoid about that too. No one wants their junk to smell funky…I’m not sure if men really have this issue just due to the way our parts are shaped. I’ve started carrying wet wipes with me to keep daisy fresh. Your arm-pits also start to smell funky. Some people much worse than others. More than a few ladies I’ve heard from in support groups have reported having to switch to prescription strength deodorant to handle it. I’ve been fortunate on that part so far thankfully.

Your periods will get messed up. Doesn’t matter if you’re on the pill or not, it’s going to get messed up. Mine came 4 days early and lasted 2 days longer than normal, and I was miserable. It was heavier than normal on the pill, and sucked big time. As your fat is burning, it’s releasing stored hormones, thus it can give you surges, and poof, f-ed up cycles. Most women report this only lasting for a few months.

From here on out…they’re less gross…

Itchy arm pits. OMG make them stop itching.

Things you once loved taste like crap. I was just out at a Mexican place, and decided to have 1 chip with some Salsa. I ended up eating only about half the chip. It tasted like shit. I’ve had this problem with other foods I decided to have one bit of. They’re just not the same…which brings me to the next point…

You seriously mourn the foods you once loved. I miss loving pasta…I miss loving french fries, mashed potatoes, bread, bagels, donuts…etc…But the thing is, I don’t miss eating them. I just miss loving them. I know they don’t taste the same, and that it’s a waste of time for me to even try to eat them.

Shopping takes three times longer now, because you have to be super aware of what’s in your food. You’re constantly paranoid about hidden carbs or sugars in your food. You read every single label, and find yourself becoming rageful that there’s randomly sugar in things that don’t need it. I’ve found myself slamming a block of Wal-Mart brand cream cheese down and going “WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SUGAR IN THIS?!?!” Out loud…mind you it was 7am in the deep south on a Sunday, the store was empty so no one saw me, but still, what the hell? After awhile you’ve learned what you can and can’t buy, what’s safe and what’s not, but that first month sucks, and if you switch stores to search for new Keto friendly goods your shop time goes right back up.

Speaking of food…it sucks because you’re not hungry. You have to remind or force yourself to eat at times. If you don’t eat, your weight loss can stall, this has been my problem lately. I haven’t been eating what I should be, because I haven’t been hungry. So this week, I haven’t lost at all. This is a serious problem for people with bloodsugar issues. Before I got off my medications, my sugars would plummet because I hadn’t eaten, and no matter how much I would eat, the carb count would never be enough to bring my sugars back up.

Sweet things become too sweet. If you do make the choice to have a little something, like chocolate…ow. Just ow. I use to keep a couple pieces of Hershey brand chocolates on my desk from an award I’d gotten at work. I’d use it in an emergency if my blood sugar dropped. Holy shit, did that stuff end up hurting my teeth the couple times I had to use it before I sucked it up and got glucose tablets. I’ve since switched to 90% dark chocolate or higher. I actually do love milk chocolate, so I’m planning to make my own.

You start to become a little snarky about other people’s health and body. Even if you’re no where near in perfect shape yet, you become hyper aware of others. You see someone else over weight eating like crap and go “OMG! How are they eating that shit, don’t they know what it’s doing to their body?” or “OMG, that person is a metabolic time bomb!” I actually had this thought about a new co-worker when I went to clock in. I’ve had to remind myself not to lecture, or judge. I’m not thin (yet), and I feel bad having these thoughts about others, but they happen constantly.

You start to notice things in your body, and you wonder if you’re just wanting to see them, or if they’ve happened. So you wait and wait and wait for someone to say something just to known you’re not paranoid.

You stare longingly at clothing stored away in your closet, and the anticipation of fitting into that piece of clothing is crushing. On the flip side, the victory when fitting back into it is amazing, then you move on to the next shirt or pair of jeans and it starts all over again. I’ve one dress I keep trying on weekly. I can fit into it, but don’t feel comfortable in it, so I keep trying because I want so badly to wear it comfortably for the first time.

Your sense of smell and taste become heightened. Now, I’ve always had a crazy sensitive nose and tongue. I can smell people entering a room, and I can taste something, and start to break down the seasonings for you and other ingredients…welcome to my world, people. It’s both a blessing and a cruse.

This one’s super annoying…People will start to ask you “OMG, what are you doing? I need to lose weight myself and you look amazing! Whatever you’re doing is working, you have to tell me!” So you start to tell them, and get one of two responses, but they’re always the same.

  1. A look of horror- followed by: “OMG, I can’t give up carbs, that’s crazy!”
  2. A look of horror-followed by: “OMG! You’re crazy, I was told/read by/that (fill in the blank) that your diet is super unhealthy and will (fill in horrible thing here) to you!”

And seriously people….You JUST said how fabulous I look, clearly this lifestyle works.

The last one…

You’ll start joining online support groups. They’re mostly great! You can find like minded people, all doing the same plan and going for similar goals. You can swap recipes, which is seriously the best thing ever when you’re new to the plan. The down side…you start to roll your eyes at people, and become a little snarky. This far, I’ve been able to keep my mouth shut on forums and posts…but OH MY GOD….here’s an example of one post I had to stop myself from commenting on…

“I’m addicted to soda, and don’t want to change what I eat so don’t try and stop me. But what can I do to do this diet and lose weight fast?”

What can you do to succeed on this diet? Nothing, because you’ve already stated you’re changing. Quit now, move on, save yourself the trouble because this is about changing yourself and your way of life, not about a quick fix. It’s a life style change, and those who do succeed on Keto, then go back to eating crap, do regain the weight.

Other questions that annoy the crap out of me are from people who don’t bother reading intro posts. 99% of questions are answered in files on pages and forums. They break down the basics so everyone doesn’t have to keep answering the same questions over and over and over again. READ SHIT PEOPLE. I swear if someone asks what WOE means one more time…or asks the difference between Grams and Net Carbs, I might scream. JUST READ.

So there you have it…some of the reasons that this Keto plan is just the worst thing ever. People should be prepared, I mean I wasn’t warned about some of this stuff when I started the program, mostly the snarky thoughts that start to come with it…

Oh, I forgot, there’s one more drawback of Keto… You seriously can’t stop talking about Keto.

Lucky 13


I’ve lost 13lbs. I owe it all to Ruby, because with out that little Evil Eggplant, I never would have discovered the Keto Diet. I love keto, no I seriously love keto. I never thought I could -love- a diet, or a Way of Eating (WOE) as they call it. It seems so strange to me, someone who’s been so happy being fat…well…not always happy, but content at least…could LOVE a “diet”.

What is keto? It’s short for Ketosis….which is the act of the body burning it’s own fat for energy. Some people worry this is a starvation mode, but using a Keto diet keeps you healthy while allowing your body to burn it’s own fat stores. It’s a diet of high fat, low carb (between 20 and 50 per day)….People start to freak out when you talk about this diet, it’s very opposite of everything we’ve been taught was healthy or good for us. Eat fats? Eat whole cheeses? Eat meat? Don’t eat too many veggies or grain? What? You want me to eat….real butter? SAY WHAT?! But honestly, this works…and it works really well…and I feel AMAZING. Amazing enough I have to blog about the positive changes in my life since I started low-carb a month ago. I don’t want to get too much into the science of this diet, because I’m still very much learning myself.

My story…

On July 7th, I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I was in the very early stages of this disease….I was early enough that it could be fixed, but it was already starting some very serious and concerning health issues. I was also diagnosed with very low Vitamin D, and a mildly fatty liver. What scared me most, was the Diabetes. I did NOT want to go on an injectable, and when my PA wrote me a RX for Bydureon I freaked out. No, it’s not insulin, but I was NOT going to be on an injectable. Something had to change in my life, and now. My other issue was high triglycerides…my other cholesterol levels were actually low. Hmm. Interesting, but makes a lot of sense. My diet was high in carbohydrates, and after a little research, I found high triglycerides were due to things like sugar and carbs. I knew what I had to do…I had to change at last, I had to drop the carbs and sugar if I wanted to live.

I have a lot of things working against me…my biggest is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. This wonderful little disease sets me up for weight gain…and diabetes…as well as infertility and things like acne and body hair growth, but that’s not what this blog post is about, so we’re going to focus on the first two: Weight Gain and Diabetes. I’ve never been able to lose weight easily thanks to this lovely little disease, and having recently gone through old photos of myself, I’ve notice as I started to become a woman, that’s when the weight started packing on, and wouldn’t come off. I can’t tell you how many diets I’ve been on, starting as early as 14. I have a very vivid memory of coming home after a summer of visiting my grandparents, and my mother being shocked at how much weight I gained, and instantly putting me on Weight Watchers…which didn’t really work. I know mom meant well…but yea. It didn’t work and I was miserable. And the weight never really came off.

I had some success over the years, and managed to grow into that fat over the next year or so with out gaining much more. The most successful diet I ever had was when I was 18. I became a vegetarian, and was taking diet pills. After returning to eating meat and dropping the pills, I of course gained all the weight back, plus some. I graduated at about 200lbs…and then slowly over the next 14 years packed on the pounds to be my highest weight at 264 when I got married.

After that, I yo-yo-ed back and forth between about 238 (for a very short time) to 250 before I moved down south, and gained 14lbs due to both lifestyle (do you know how hard it is to eat healthy down here? EVERYONE is overweight, which makes you less self conscious at the beach, but seriously…) and my hormonal condition worsening.

When I say I’ve done all the diets…I kinda mean it. Over the years I’ve done diet pills (Metabolife, Alley, among others I can’t recall the name of…), Weight Watchers, The Blood Type Diet, The Daniel’s Fast, Juicing, The Flat Belly Diet, as well as trying to eat Organic, and other combos of things people have said are healthy and work for them. Nothing’s worked, nothing’s been successful (except the Metabolife-Vegetarian combo, but the minute I stopped, back up went the weight). Anything I’ve tried I’ve gotten some results with, but the results were hard to maintain, and so was the diet.

Ok…enough about my diet history and health…here’s why I love keto…(yummy and does some kickass things for me!)

What makes Keto so different for me? I wake up every day excited for food. I’m excited to cook! I get to eat delicious things! I fricken LOVE steak….like I LOOOOOOVE steak. Steak is amazing. I love meat (sorry my vegan friends!). So a diet that wasn’t going to limit me in meat was a good thing, especially since I had to give up my beloved carbs. Meat, and cheese…yes please. Whole delicious cream? Oh yes…yes to that too. (Meat = 0 carbs btw!)

What a normal day looks like for me meal wise…

Morning coffee. We call it Bullet Proof Coffee…still not sure where the name came from… It’s coffee with butter and heavy cream in it…I love butter in my coffee, it’s seriously amazing. I’m not a big food eater in the morning, so I add a scoop of protein shake to mine.- Carb count = 3.

Lunch varies for me, depending on my mood. I usually pack leftovers from dinner…but I also pack lunch meat, cheese, and boiled eggs to snack on (though I’m needing snacks less and less as my blood sugar evens out). I can also be found with a salad (depending on mood), or a cheeseburger with bacon, no bun.

Dinner is my favorite meal…The night before last we had tacos….ground steak, green pepper, onion, cheese, and sour cream. It was DELICIOUS. We also used a product called Shiritaki, which is formed into noodles or “rice”. About 10 carbs in this.

I get to EAT! I get to eat GOOD food…did I mention we had cheesecake for desert, with whole whipped sugar free cream? No seriously, 0 carbs. (Swap real sugar for sweeteners)

I can eat like this…satisfy my inner fat kid…and loose weight…and loose inches!! And even when the scale doesn’t move, the measuring tape does.

Here’s some of the amazing things besides weight loss that has happened to me…

  1. Illness…now it didn’t make me sick, but I’m talking the impact of getting sick now vs. getting sick before starting this WOE. My -wonderful- coworker used my desk and headset while she was sick and I was off…I got sick needless to say, but rather than feeling like death (I mean she was seriously sick with a head cold and fever), if you compare me to her? I’m dancing on air. I’ve a slightly sore throat and mild headache. My voice is in and out (which means I can’t work, no talky no worky on the phone)…but I’m feeling pretty good. A year ago, this would have taken me out for days…hell 6 months ago…3 months ago..
  2. My blood sugar is WAY down. Post meals I’m at about 100 with NO MEDICATION…only about a month and a half later! Look at that. I’m managing a life long disease with no medication…medication that was painful for DAYS after injecting (hell I think I still have a lump from that damn Bydureon…I just don’t do well with it in my right leg…left was fine.)
  3. My skin has cleared up…which means my hormones may be regulating. Which is amazing.
  4. My periods are lighter, even with being on the pill. I’m interested to see how this continues after I’m off the pill in a year or so.
  5. My skin is softer.
  6. My hair is fuller.
  7. My lips are moist and soft.
  8. My allergies are better.
  9. My muscles feel stronger (my abs in specific. They’re always wanting to “engage”.)
  10. My tastebuds and sense of smell are stronger…still trying to figure out if this is a good thing. I could smell people entering a room before this started.
  11. My brain fog is clearing.
  12. I’m not tired all the time anymore. I honestly thought I had Lyme disease or hep-C before I made these changes I was so tired all the time.
  13. My drive to do things is back. ORGANIZE ALL THE THINGS!
  14. I’m happy again. So happy, and so full of life and energy
  15. I can eat and feel full sooner and for longer. I feel satisfied! It’s so nice!
  16. My knees don’t hurt like they use to! Neither does the rest of my body.

There have been so many positive changes after the first 2 weeks of this plan (won’t lie…induction kinda sucks). I woke up on day 15 and felt like a light was switched back on inside of me.

I defend this WOE. I had a hard time last week because of low LOW blood sugars. I was overly medicated. I had started off with Bydureon 1 time a week and 500mg of Metformin twice a day. My PA warned me to keep an eye out for this, he admitted to treating me thinking I wouldn’t change. He was happy to see he was wrong. So first I cut one of the metformin, then I cut the byudreon the next week…last week I was down to 1 metformin a day, and I was still experiencing blood sugar lows of 70-80 AFTER meals. I stopped the metformin…and 4 days later the extreme lows have stopped, and there have been no highs past 110….ANYWHO…I got into a talk with a coworker who’s diabetic. I don’t know him well, but a friend called him over because he’s been managing his diabetes for years.

He of course, told me Keto is terrible, and I should be having up to 40 carbs per meal…the thing is, that’s for someone who’s on medication. Yea, if I ate 40 carbs a meal, I wouldn’t be getting lows on my medication. I’d be “managing” the disease. I don’t want to “manage” this disease. I want to kick it’s ass. My goal isn’t healthy numbers ON medication…my goal is healthy numbers OFF medication. And since I’ve stopped my meds? BOOM healthy numbers. I swear, the education people are given when we’re diagnosed helps keep us ill. (I should post about my own experience in another blog…it was entertaining.)

People who tell me this isn’t healthy can blow me. My blood pressure is the lowest it’s been since I got on medication. My blood sugar is perfect. I feel so amazing. Everything we’ve been taught about being healthy has been BS. I love Keto, it’s given me my life back, and I could seriously talk forever about how much I love this way of eating.